I LOVE underwear. This should be no shock to many of you, nor should it shock you that I love talking about it. But this week, something strange happened...for the first time, I found myself with the dreaded writers block.
It could be due to the fact that I have not ordered any new underwear for a while (a bathroom remodel is currently eating up funds and 90% of what I write about is self-funded). It could be that with the weather FINALLY deciding to act like spring, I'd much rather be out and about. It could be due to a lot of things. To help me break the writers block I turned to you, my beloved readers. You came to my rescue again on Instagram and gave me a few good topics. The one I am going to focus on this week is being in a relationship with someone where one of you (in this case, me) is obsessed with underwear and the other is not.
The more I began thinking about this topic, the more I flashed back to conversations I have had with many guys on social media who face this same situation. They really love underwear and their partner doesn't share the same passion, or in some situations, are put off by it. Each relationship is different, but in the end, it all comes down to respect for one another.
When it comes to underwear and relationships, there can be a number of disagreements. When you view underwear in the context of sexual fetish, it can definitely present number of challenges. Maybe you are undies obsessed and want underwear involved during sex and your partner keeps trying to peel it off? Maybe you find a certain style or color or brand to be sexy, but your partner does not (and their reaction is less than ideal)? As with any sexual fetish, communication is the key. The more you openly discuss and explain what your wants and needs are, the more that they can begin to understand and find ways to make fulfill your desires. It does not happen overnight, but it also does not happen if you never talk about it.
For me, I am pretty lucky. My husband accepts and loves the underwear obsessed guy that I am. This doesn't mean he shares the same level of love and passion as me for underwear, but it means that he supports me and encourages me with what I do. Is he going to sit and read every blog post I write? NO. But is he going to support and encourage me when I tell him I need time alone to write? Or be patient when I find out about a hot deal on underwear and need to drop everything to order right that second? YES!
For us, our relationship is about loving each other for who we are. We each have hobbies/interests/obsessions that the other does not share. In all honesty, that is a good thing. I personally would not want to be with someone who loves all of the exact same thing as me. While it would certainly avoid a number of arguments, I mean "spirited discussions" over the years, it also would bring so much less to my life.
I look at my interest/passion/obsession with underwear in much the same light as the interests/passions/obsessions my husband has. He loves Harry Potter, but that doesn't mean I want to sit down and watch every movie with him. Side note, years ago as a gift I bought him all the Harry Potter dvds and told him I would watch them with him someday...someday still hasn't happened, but lets not rush into them all at once. We also took a trip to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios. Would that have been my first choice for a vacation? NO! But did I have a fun time? YES! Theme parks in general are not my thing, but I had an absolute blast watching him in his element. Seeing his face light up at the various buildings, rides, costumes, etc. He was in his element and loving it and I was loving seeing that. That happiness that he is experiencing is what it is all about.
So what about my happiness? My husband is a trooper, spending time underwear shopping with me when we travel. If we are in a large city with an underwear store, he knows we will be going there...perhaps multiple times. Sure he enjoys browsing as well and making some purchases, but I know it takes me about 4 times as long as him to make up my mind. I endlessly go around and around a store checking out nearly every single item. He's patient with me when I'm blogging and has grown used to undies being all over the house . And as for vacations, he is patient with me as I try and determine which of the dozens of swimsuits I am going to wear to the beach or to lounge by the pool because we know I have packed about 5 times more than I need. He lets me be me, whether it's in a sleek speedo, or one of my more daring suits, like my gold N2N bikini he has labeled "the one you wear if you want people to know you're circumcised". He's even attended a few underwear parties with me even though he most certainly could have thought of many other ways he would rather spend his time.
Now of course there are times it would be great if he had the same level of passion as I do for underwear. Just as there are times he wishes I had the same level of passion as he does for some of his interests. I think the most important thing is that we both have outlets for our passions. Whether its blogging, vacations, parties, etc. I get to embrace my underwear passion. I do know (and have been in relationships where) if I do not get to embrace the things that make me happy, then I know I am not in the right relationship. Again, I don't have to have my partner share the same interests or to my degree of obsession, but I do need to be able to be me. The key to making these things happen has been for us to communicate. I explain what interests me and why and he does the same. You have to be able to tell your partner what you want from them in order for it to happen in some way, shape, or form.
So there you have it. Navigating a relationship where one person is more obsessed with underwear than the other certainly does have its challenges. But with a little communication and patience, you can find yourself growing deeper as a couple and finding yourself celebrating each others passions more and more. As for us, our next vacation is just a few weeks away...in Palm Springs for thongers weekend. This will be my Wizarding World and I'm sure my face will light up at the sight of all the buns in the sun! Time for me to do some shopping!